Where's My Paycheck?

I remember a moment last August when The Hubby and I looked at each other and said, "Oh my god, the Army has taken over our lives." It was about seven in the evening and the both of us were on our laptops taking care of Army related things. He was working on some kind of PowerPoint presentation that was due the next day and I was doing an online training course for my new Family Readiness Group (FRG) Treasurer position through Army OneSource. 

With our last company, I had signed up to be the Treasurer because it was a way for me to be involved without being completely drawn in. It was an easy task. Sign checks, make deposits, keep receipts...completely low key and yet no one could say, "Schmidt's wife never does anything." I was also a Key Caller for the company. My task was to call a list of family members monthly to see how they were doing and I was their person to contact in case they had any questions or concerns. I was very comfortable with my amount of involvement with the FRG and found it to be a good balance.

The Army lifestyle is full of politics. I'm going to save the most of it for another post, but basically how involved I am with the FRG and other volunteer work can affect The Hubby's career. Or at least this is what I am told. My husband has made it a point to tell me that I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do. His success should not and does not have anything to do with me. He is doing amazing because he is spectacular at his job. Even so, it doesn't hurt for me to have a good relationship with everyone he works with. Or, rather, their wives.

New responsibilities

I have already written about what his new promotion as an Executive Officer of a different company means for him. This post is about how these changes affect me. First of all, I had finally made friends with some wives and was getting comfortable going to FRG meetings and was no longer the "New Girl". And now I have to start completely over with strangers and hope that they take a liking to me, too. But this is the least drastic adjustments I have had to make.

Our new company was also going through some transitions with their Family Readiness Group. I was told that they had already found a new FRG Leader and I felt relieved when I heard this news. But then I received a call saying that they were so happy I was coming to the company because then I could be the FRG Co-Leader. Apparently, the only woman who stepped up has many children along with a full-time job and she could not take care of all the responsibilities on her own. And suddenly I was thrown into the position to be the Co-Leader.

I don't think I was ever asked if I wanted the job. It was somewhat pushed onto me, and I accepted it with an open mind (after some reluctance) because I knew that no one else would do it. I had already worked closely with our old company's FRG Leader so I got a very little taste of it. I also knew that it would prepare me for the task later on when TH becomes a Company Commander in later years, and the Commander's Wife (aka little ol' me) typically takes on the role as FRG Leader. 

But the main reason why I am taking on this new leadership position with such moxie is because I know that if I do a good job back at home, then TH and the rest of the soldiers can focus on their job in Iraq. 

My main responsibility is to take care of the families in any way that I can. This can be in the form of answering any questions they may have, visiting them in the hospital if they've just had a baby, organizing chances for everyone to get together, bringing meals if they are going through a tough time, dispersing information, consoling them through miscarriages or marital issues...the list goes on and on.

And then I have to take care of the soldiers, too. Cook outs, care packages, fundraisers, parties. But, most importantly, I need to make sure that their family members are taken care of and well informed. 

Being a FRG Leader, from what I have heard, is a task that can be as time consuming as you want it to be. I am the one who needs to decide how involved I want to be. I have to set boundaries with family members. I can throw as many parties as I want, or I can not do anything at all. 

Here is what is tricky though. If you know me personally, you know that I am the kind of person who will go above and beyond to help another person out. I'm the one who will run ahead of you in order to open the door. I'm the one who will offer to help you move into your dorm room without wanting anything in return. So it is going to be extremely difficult for me to tell someone that I cannot help them because if I don't draw the line at some point, then I will get trampled on. 

My twisted philosophy

Because I am a Co-Leader, I have to watch myself and I always need to consult with somebody else. My actions also have to be run by the Commander, who is my husband's direct boss, as he is responsible for the FRG. I have never liked working in groups. When my college professors assigned group projects I always asked if there was an option to do the assignment on my own. It's not that I can't work with others, it's that I find it easier to get things done myself. It's my Type A personality. But I am glad that I have others to consult with because I am new to this Army life and I really don't know very much.

I already have a few projects in mind for our FRG. I have invited our Key Callers over to my house for a pot luck next weekend so that I can meet these great women and discuss any ideas they may have. Military Spouse Appreciation Day is on May 6th so I thought it would be neat to send all our spouses a thank you card in the mail. We have hats and t-shirts to sell as fundraisers and I also need to think of more ways to generate money. 

I think these new responsibilities will be good for me because it will give me something to occupy my time with. Being a FRG Leader also lets me do what I love most: helping others. Wish me luck because I'll need it!

Phew! That was a long post. It was probably also incredibly boring, too. But I felt it was necessary to let you know what's going on as I know that I will be doing a lot of talking about FRG related matters later on. I already have some topics in mind, but I'll leave that for another day.