Surrounded by Love

One of The Hubby's groomsmen is also currently stationed in Iraq. It's too bad that they're not in the same area or else maybe they could actually be having some fun. He sent me this photograph in the mail weeks ago, and I found it incredibly clever.

In case you can't tell, that's a picture of me at our wedding being surrounded by a bunch of dancing Army fools. On the back, he wrote: "I hope you remember that even though The Hubby is gone, you're still surrounded by people who care about you."


It's amazing how many wonderful and kind people I have met over the years just simply by being a part of my husband's life.

On Like Donkey Kong

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I finally have the nerves to attend another Officer Wives' Coffee. The first one I went to was extremely awkward and I ended up kind of standing quietly to the side with my arms crossed and waiting to see who would leave first so that I could be the next one to go.

Everyone already knew each other and I'm not the kind of person who will just go up to a stranger and introduce myself. I ended up talking to the ONLY other Asian person there, and she barely spoke English so that didn't work out very well.

I'm not good with large groups of people, especially when they all already have cliques and I don't really belong in any of them. But I'm trying to get myself to be more social. I'm sure I'll be getting a lot of surprised looks when I walk into the coffee tonight since I've skipped every single one since July.

Here's to me breaking through! It's on like Donkey Kong!

Where's My Paycheck?

I remember a moment last August when The Hubby and I looked at each other and said, "Oh my god, the Army has taken over our lives." It was about seven in the evening and the both of us were on our laptops taking care of Army related things. He was working on some kind of PowerPoint presentation that was due the next day and I was doing an online training course for my new Family Readiness Group (FRG) Treasurer position through Army OneSource. 

With our last company, I had signed up to be the Treasurer because it was a way for me to be involved without being completely drawn in. It was an easy task. Sign checks, make deposits, keep receipts...completely low key and yet no one could say, "Schmidt's wife never does anything." I was also a Key Caller for the company. My task was to call a list of family members monthly to see how they were doing and I was their person to contact in case they had any questions or concerns. I was very comfortable with my amount of involvement with the FRG and found it to be a good balance.

The Army lifestyle is full of politics. I'm going to save the most of it for another post, but basically how involved I am with the FRG and other volunteer work can affect The Hubby's career. Or at least this is what I am told. My husband has made it a point to tell me that I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do. His success should not and does not have anything to do with me. He is doing amazing because he is spectacular at his job. Even so, it doesn't hurt for me to have a good relationship with everyone he works with. Or, rather, their wives.

New responsibilities

I have already written about what his new promotion as an Executive Officer of a different company means for him. This post is about how these changes affect me. First of all, I had finally made friends with some wives and was getting comfortable going to FRG meetings and was no longer the "New Girl". And now I have to start completely over with strangers and hope that they take a liking to me, too. But this is the least drastic adjustments I have had to make.

Our new company was also going through some transitions with their Family Readiness Group. I was told that they had already found a new FRG Leader and I felt relieved when I heard this news. But then I received a call saying that they were so happy I was coming to the company because then I could be the FRG Co-Leader. Apparently, the only woman who stepped up has many children along with a full-time job and she could not take care of all the responsibilities on her own. And suddenly I was thrown into the position to be the Co-Leader.

I don't think I was ever asked if I wanted the job. It was somewhat pushed onto me, and I accepted it with an open mind (after some reluctance) because I knew that no one else would do it. I had already worked closely with our old company's FRG Leader so I got a very little taste of it. I also knew that it would prepare me for the task later on when TH becomes a Company Commander in later years, and the Commander's Wife (aka little ol' me) typically takes on the role as FRG Leader. 

But the main reason why I am taking on this new leadership position with such moxie is because I know that if I do a good job back at home, then TH and the rest of the soldiers can focus on their job in Iraq. 

My main responsibility is to take care of the families in any way that I can. This can be in the form of answering any questions they may have, visiting them in the hospital if they've just had a baby, organizing chances for everyone to get together, bringing meals if they are going through a tough time, dispersing information, consoling them through miscarriages or marital issues...the list goes on and on.

And then I have to take care of the soldiers, too. Cook outs, care packages, fundraisers, parties. But, most importantly, I need to make sure that their family members are taken care of and well informed. 

Being a FRG Leader, from what I have heard, is a task that can be as time consuming as you want it to be. I am the one who needs to decide how involved I want to be. I have to set boundaries with family members. I can throw as many parties as I want, or I can not do anything at all. 

Here is what is tricky though. If you know me personally, you know that I am the kind of person who will go above and beyond to help another person out. I'm the one who will run ahead of you in order to open the door. I'm the one who will offer to help you move into your dorm room without wanting anything in return. So it is going to be extremely difficult for me to tell someone that I cannot help them because if I don't draw the line at some point, then I will get trampled on. 

My twisted philosophy

Because I am a Co-Leader, I have to watch myself and I always need to consult with somebody else. My actions also have to be run by the Commander, who is my husband's direct boss, as he is responsible for the FRG. I have never liked working in groups. When my college professors assigned group projects I always asked if there was an option to do the assignment on my own. It's not that I can't work with others, it's that I find it easier to get things done myself. It's my Type A personality. But I am glad that I have others to consult with because I am new to this Army life and I really don't know very much.

I already have a few projects in mind for our FRG. I have invited our Key Callers over to my house for a pot luck next weekend so that I can meet these great women and discuss any ideas they may have. Military Spouse Appreciation Day is on May 6th so I thought it would be neat to send all our spouses a thank you card in the mail. We have hats and t-shirts to sell as fundraisers and I also need to think of more ways to generate money. 

I think these new responsibilities will be good for me because it will give me something to occupy my time with. Being a FRG Leader also lets me do what I love most: helping others. Wish me luck because I'll need it!

Phew! That was a long post. It was probably also incredibly boring, too. But I felt it was necessary to let you know what's going on as I know that I will be doing a lot of talking about FRG related matters later on. I already have some topics in mind, but I'll leave that for another day.

Holy Crap!

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Sometimes, I am absolutely amazed by how much I love my husband. He'll say or do things randomly that just makes me remember exactly why I married him, and why we have been madly in love for close to seven years. And I just want to shout, "Holy crap! I love this man!"

I was having a tough time over these past few days over something that happened recently. Since I can't exactly call him on his cell phone in Iraq and speak to him directly right then and there, I left him a drawn out email to vent my frustrations. I was finally able to hear his voice today, and immediately he asked how I was and requested for more details of the incident. And, quite smartly, he took my side instead of making me seem like a fool for possibly overreacting as women typically do. Because sometimes you just want to hear, "That's really messed up" instead of "Oh, well just forget it." You want somebody who takes your side, and The Hubby is my "somebody".

And he also wrote, "You can get anything your heart desires, my love..." in regards to planned spa treatments over his R&R.


Yes, I am a lucky one.

Hiatus

Things are hectic here so I'm taking a blogging hiatus until Thursday-ish, although I'm probably going to cheat because I love using my blogs as a way to release all that is cooped up in my crazy mind. Promise to fill you in later!

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Tired

When The Hubby is really tired, he sleeps with his mouth open. One time he was napping with Bella and he woke up to find a pool of drool on our poor baby's ear. So I guess I'm thankful that there is no visible drool in these pictures. 

I think his company has numerous pictures of him falling asleep at the desk. Perhaps this is a sign that they are working him too hard? He looks like he has aged two years in two months.

Just the Two of Us

I like this picture for several reasons:

1. Bella is staring straight into the camera without me asking if she's hungry.

2. You can see the beginnings of the formation of an actual bicep muscle in my left arm as I brace myself from falling flat on the ground. Maybe?

3. That body part wrapped around Bella's body is not my right arm like you may assume, but my right leg. How I got myself in that position, I do not know.

4. That I'm still able to find a reason to smile like that alone on a Wednesday evening in a house in the middle of nowhere.

Promotion?

I've been neglecting this blog, but it's actually because I have so much to say that I don't know where to begin. A lot of things are happening in our lives right now in terms of changes in our jobs. Yes, don't you know that as a wife married to an officer in the Army, I have a job, too? More on the complicated aspect of wife politics later. This post is about my husband.

The Hubby has been promoted to become an Executive Officer (XO) of a different company. This promotion is solely a promotion in title and responsibilities, but it doesn't include a higher salary. More work for the same pay? No surprises there!

Basically, this means that he is second in command of a company of approximately 130 soldiers. He is the Company Commander's (Captain) right-hand man. All I really know about this new job is that he will no longer be a Platoon Leader and will deal mostly with paperwork. This is not my husband's cup of tea. He has grown to love his soldiers over the past nine months, and they have developed a bond between one another that is so strong and steady that has made his platoon the best in the company. And since the company is the best in the battalion, it's probably safe to say that he has the best platoon in the battalion!

Yeah, my husband is seriously kicking major ass at his job. He told me last week that he received an amazing evaluation by his commanders and has been ranked in the top two out of 36 platoon leaders in the battalion. They didn't tell him if he was either number one or two, but they did say that he was ready to command his own company now if he had to. I am one proud wife!

You see, this is especially amazing as when he was first given his soldiers, he was told that he had a group of rejects and nobodies that no one wanted. The Hubby was told by numerous others that he had his work cut out for him. But he gave everyone a clean slate, whipped them into shape, gave them confidence in themselves, and they worked their way to the top.

But now he has to leave them all and move to a completely different region of Iraq. This was devastating news for my husband. His current commander fought for him to stay, but it was useless. There was a need for someone with my husband's talents and they wanted him ASAP. I tried to convince him that he should be flattered to have been chosen for this job because it means that they believe he is qualified for the job.

Now, here is a wife's perspective. Knowing that TH loves his job and is good at what he does keeps me going back at home. So if he is miserable, then I am miserable as well. Because suffering through loneliness and all the rest of it was okay as long as my husband was happy. His work is more important, and I could suck it up for him. But if he is unhappy, then what does that mean for me?

If I get the chance tomorrow, I'll write about how else this promotion affects me. Boy, is it a doozy!